Jimmy's home

It took more than a month, but finally, Jimmy is home. Grandma Marie still spends her days crying, but I'm trying to get on with living. i still see him in his wheelchair as I had to turn and walk away. I carry around a lot of guilt and anger about having to leave him to die all alone. There was no reason for me to give up the home we both loved except to pacify a daughter who found that she didn't like having her "birth mother" around. I miss my home, my grand kids, my beautiful mountains and having someone to care for. A man who loved me much more than I deserved. I miss my church and bearing my testimony. No one wants to hear it now. I miss my friend Corrie and his mom. Whenever Jimmy was in the hospital or nursing home I always had Corrie to take care of. i miss Tanner and Isaac and Noah and their unconditional love. I miss my daughter and what I had hoped would be a closer relationship. I try to understand her, but I've never been ashamed or embarrassed of anyone in my family so I can't even try to relate. I tried to conform and be who she wanted me to be, but a person can only be who they are. I could change the way I dressed, I was still me in a better wrapped package. Nicer wrapping doesn't necessarily make you a nicer person.

Next time I write I think it would be a good idea if I know what to say instead of rambleinI have family g. For now I'm just grateful that Jimmy is home and the cats and I have a roof over our heads. Joel and Matty are happy to have a grandma in their little town. We're only a few blocks apart so we can see each other often. Baby Alex-zander James is here several days a week when he spends time with his daddy, so I'm able to see him grow. I know now that I have those who love me just as I am. Like Jimmy did, even though I don't necessarily deserve it.