Looking every bit the homeless bag lady she trudged her way through the streets of town, pushing her grocery cart full of boxes. She pushed through the snow , musta been nine feet at least, and the ice. Barefoot she was, no mittens, no hat. She kept on pushin' her cart, 20 miles I guess, all uphill, for she had an important mission to fulfill. It was Santa business, he'd sent her you know.She couldn't fail again this year, else Santa'd be bootin' 'er right in the...well you know where. So for 50 miles up mountains and cliffs she pushed that ol' cart for to send off the gifts. She arrived at the Post all shivered and cold, not a dry sleeve in sight to wipe 'er awful nose. She unloaded them boxes one by one and stacked them neatly, sayin' "Take good care o' these son.". Well that son of a gun musta been a Grinch 'cause he turned right around and gave that ol' woman a pinch! He started pullin' green numbers right outta the sky an' adden' 'em up, higher and higher. There must have been hundreds, no, thousands. Wait, MILLIONS! So many green numbers that ol' woman never did see before. "Don't you know that it's Christmas?", she asked so benignly. "Santa has asked Sir, would you do this kindly?" Now I would like to say that the young son of a gun changed that day and took all the good little boys and girls to Disney World where they all ate ice cream and slept in Cinderella's Castle. We know that's not true, but come Christmas morning Santa has a lump o' coal...if ya know what I mean.
As for that ol' woman, she was so tired that she jus' built an igloo in the 15 foot of snow, an is all hunkered down for a long winters nap.
Merry Christmas
