My Five Minutes To Cry And Piss And Moan

Generally when something goes wrong in my life, I will find a kind ear to listen and give myself five minutes to cry and whine and get it out of my system. It usually works pretty well. I think that it's the combination of putting my feelings into words and knowing that someone cares enough to listen.

I've come to a point in my life now where I'm almost totally withdrawn from human contact, so I'm hoping that just writing it all down will be enough.

Yesterday I had a doctor appointment. I thought it was just a check because she had put me on new meds and I planned on using the opportunity to ask about a problem I've been having in my left scapular area. It's been gradually causing more and more pain. Since it was crushed in the car accident 4 1/2 years ago, I'm wondering if this pain is connected to that. The one thing I wasn't concerned about was the glucose tolerance test I'd taken 3 weeks ago. If something had been wrong there, they would have called me......or so I thought.

Turns out that they don't like to tell people they are diabetic over the phone. News that devastating tends to make people freak out so they want to tell them face to face. Did I freak out? No, not at first anyway. I didn't know enough about diabetes to know how much it would affect my life. I'm not real big on eating sweets so it would be no big deal giving them up, right? Ha! Jokes on me!First off, my favorite beverage is Pepsi. I've already switched to caffeine free, but sugar free is just too much. Losing that alone is devastating. If it ended there, I could handle it but that would be too easy. Oh Yeah, this isn't just a little road block, it's The Great Wall Of China!

Since way back when I was a Chiapelli, pasta has been a main staple in my cupboard. My favorite snack is Lays Potato Chips. I am addicted to Raspberry Jello with Whole Berry Cranberry Sauce, Pineapple and low fat Cottage Cheese topped with Cool Whip. If I'm not cooking with pasta, I am probably using rice or potatoes.

Pasta, rice, potatoes, and dairy are all considered starches and starches convert to sugar as soon as they enter your body. If you look in my cupboards right now, there is not a single thing that I'm allowed to eat. Nothing, zip, zilch, nadda!

So the freak out has begun. A lot of crying and feeling sorry for myself. Hopefully now that I've put this all into words I can start thinking about solutions.

I Must Break My Silence

How exciting is this...Audrey is having a baby GIRL!!!! The boys are absolutely wonderful, but after 3 of them she was really afraid to hope for a girl. I did a lot of hoping for her as I'm sure everyone who knew did. Today it was confirmed on her blog, baby is healthy and a girl! I am just overflowing with joy for their whole family.

Today is Isaac's Birthday so a shout out to him! Holla! Hope you had a happy day Igus, (I know that's not your name, but it was how you said it when I first met you so Uncle Dan and I still think of you as Igus sometimes.

I got an e-mail from my Aunt Linda today. We haven't seen each other in a gazillion years, so that was a super surprise. Now that she's found me I hope we will stay in touch.

I actually left the apartment today. Just for a little while, but I did it. Tomorrow a lady is coming to take me to Kmart. It's just to pick up my meds, but it's a real store and if I hurry I might even get a chance to look at stuff!

All this sounds like bland old everyday stuff for most people, but for me it's all exciting stuff. Enough to get me to blog again......