The Traveling Pantyhose

About a month ago I was in a situation in which I needed to be interviewed by the Bishop of my church. In preparation for this interview I sought council from one of my favorite son in laws as to how to approach the situation. He gave me very sound advice which I took to heart and prayed for an open heart and mind. I wasn't worried about how to dress as I still had my "Audrey Approved" dress and shoes, I was only lacking a pair of pantyhose. Now that summer had passed it was a bit chilly for bear legs.
One of my neighbors who is about my size brought a pair of hose over that she said had been in her drawer for years so I might as well get some use out of them. I was very grateful and thanked her for helping me out.
Sunday came and I was all showered and primped. Everything was laid out nicely to begin dressing. Because I have a problem with a large middle area I wear a foundation garment that holds it in a bit. It's made to wear in place of panties so I put it on first, then the pantyhose. I finished dressing and went downstairs to wait for my ride.
The longer I stood there the more something didn't feel quite right. I ran back upstairs to check it out. There were my pantyhose falling down nearly to my knees. Thankful that I'd found the problem before it was too late I was about to go switch the pantyhose to inside the foundation garment. But alas, no time! The phone rang, my ride was downstairs waiting. I quickly pulled the pantyhose up as far as I could and stuffed the top of them the best I could into the top of the foundation garment. I took off for church praying in earnest!
Every thing went well. I moved about the halls of the church, stopped and had several conversations as I was waiting for the Bishop to finish up what he was doing and finally he was ready for me. We walked down the hall toward his office and I was feeling all right with the world. He opened his office door and invited me inside and as soon as I stepped through the doorway I stopped dead in my tracks. Those pantyhose were traveling again and about to really embarrass me! "Excuse me, where is the ladies room?" I couldn't get there fast enough! Another lady was in there and when I told her what happened we both busted up laughing! She helped me get the hosiery tucked a little more securely and I went back to my meeting, with neither the Bishop or myself suffering any undo embarrassment.....and the meeting went well.

It's The Little Things

Sooooo, that time of year has hit again. The sunlight never quite makes it over the tree line and hits our building or the sidewalks. The daylight hours are short and the temperatures are falling. For those of us with depression this time is a struggle and we look toward it with dread. Having gone through this year after year I have learned a lot of ways that really help to get through these dark days.
I really is a lot of little things that anyone can do if they are having a down day. When I was a teen my mother told me that if I was feeling bad I should put on a bit of make up and dress up nice and that it might make me feel better...at that age I hated admitting my mother was EVER right...but she was! It was just a little thing, but it worked. That was the first "little thing" I learned and still practice to this day.
One of my favorite little things is to turn on one of my awesome concert DVD's and Dance Like No One Is Watching! Of course, along with that (or separately) you can also Sing As If No One Is Listening! If you're one of those people who likes to be productive and thinks this might be a waste of time, you must look at the BIGGER picture. Both of these things go very well with vacuuming and dusting so not only will you feel great because that's what dancin' and singin' do for you, but when you turn around and see how clean your home is...it's like WOW! It hardly seems like a little thing then.
Light some nicely fragrant candles and take a bubble bath with the overhead lights out. Just relax and enjoy the warmth and the fragrance with maybe some soft music but not too much, the key is to NOT overstimulate your senses. Little things.
Weather permitting, take a nice walk outdoors. Exercise, fresh air and sunshine are all keys to good mental health. Most areas have malls that open early for walkers so you can at least get the exercise.
Sort through old photos and jot down the POSITIVE memories each one brings. Get really creative and make your memories into scrapbooks. Just a little thing.
Watch a funny movie or TV show and laugh out loud! I, personally, have the Ellen show programed into my TV so I know that I won't miss my daily dose of laughter. It's a great little thing.
Send an uplifting message to someone. If you're feeling bad, chances are someone else is too. In order to write an uplifting note you have to think positively so already your mood will improve and you'll have the added benefit of boosting someone else's mood as well. Little things can mean so much.
Make an "I Am Thankful" list and see how full you make it. Try to make the #of entries = your age as a challenge. Remember the little things.
If you have children and/or pets take the time to play with them. You're never too old to play and it's just a little thing that means a lot.
One of my most favorite little things is the good ol' fashioned "Good Deed". The real trick to doing this one right is that you can never tell anyone you did it! Yes, you heard me right, you get no credit, just the feeling inside your heart that tells you "Good job". It doesn't have to be anything big, maybe someone is short a few cents in the checkout line ahead of you and you cover it, or you let the car into your lane ahead of you during rush hour. Maybe you pick up something that you noticed another has dropped and you return it to them, or maybe a little bigger, you make a little extra for dinner and share with someone you know is in need. You get the gist of it, it's little things....that are good.

These are just a few things off the top of my head but I hope they help someone have a brighter winter.

The Ellen Show loves to look a folks bad paid for photos. These pic's of mine fit into at least 2 catagories! Bad School Photos and Bad Perms.

This first one is bad enough because of the awful "Toni" perm, but the glasses really make it a winner.... and I can remember WANTING to wear glasses because I was the only one in the family that didn't! Silly kid!

This second one is by far the worst of the worst! Not only is the perm hidious, the dress is too ugly for words. To cap it all off I must have broken the photographer's camera (or maybe he just felt sorry for my parents!) 'cause the darned thing is out of focus!

I wanted to enter Ellen's contest, so I morphed the 2 pic's together into one butt ugly picture with an in focus face.

EEEEEEeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!!!!!! I should have done this for Halloween!

Now, I challenge you to top this for BAD photo's. If you do any morphing like I did you still have to show why.

It Ain't Easy

A small town can be a fabulous place to live. Everyone knows you and if you are in need, someone is always there to lend a hand or a listening ear. When things are good, they are VERY good! When they turn bad it's a nightmare! Small town living, as fabulous as it can be, is far from perfect. All it takes is one mistake, saying the "wrong" thing at the "wrong" time or becoming friendly with the "wrong" person or group, and you find that suddenly your world has been turned upside down.

Recently a series of events added up to some real problems for me mentally. It built up gradually, kinda snuck it's way in, then WHAMMO! Major brain malfunction! It was a fairly serious one because it included a black out lasting several hours.

I was relieved to find out that there was no terrible behavior during the black out, but was quite distraught to learn that in the hours either leading up to or immediately following, there was an incident of which I'm very ashamed.

I was acting in an extreme manic manner and said something totally out of character to a very sensitive young man....and NO ONE called me on it! When I started feeling more "myself", I was back outside chatting with the neighbors as usual, except that one (who claimed to be my very good friend)began making very nasty remarks to me and I could hear the whispers begin as soon as I would walk away from any group discussion. Finally I asked my real friend if she knew what was wrong. That is how I found out how horribly I'd behaved.

Thankfully I had the opportunity to talk to the young fellow about what happened and give him a most sincere apology, which he accepted. I am so thankful for that because to me, what I said was unforgivable. I also apologised and explained the nature of my illness (in case ,God forbid, it should happen

again)to the others who were witness to the incident.

If this "thing" had not been dealt with swiftly, I would have found within a very short time the the story had spread like wildfire and had grown and changed with each telling until the good people of this town would've been wanting me hung from the closest tree.

I am so thankful for my Doctors, who keep on top of my med needs and prevent these Jekyll/Hyde things from happening most of the time. I'm thankful for the one true friend who had my back even when it seemed I didn't deserve it. I'm thankful for the forgiveness that helped me get back on track. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father's love and the gift of Repentance. I am also, in a way, thankful for this illness, for it has taught me tolerance, hope, and a greater respect for myself---just the way I am.

***The people in these photo's are a few of my lovely neighbors and family. No one who was hurt in the incident is pictured.***

WELCOME TO

MY TOWN,

BRECKENRIDGE MICHIGAN

I'd like to introduce you to the little town of Breckenridge Michigan, a beautiful place to live.

I hope you enjoyed this tiny glimpse into my town. Come and visit sometime and experience the real beauty that grows hear. The warm and wonderful people.

Thank you for your time, please come back again!!

Trying To Build A Future When The Past Won't Let Go

***May 29 4:30AM***
The post that follows was, at the discretion of the author, turned over to the authors Mental Health case manager and a copy has been prepared for the psychiatrist in preparation for next weeks appointment. The author is cautiously optimistic that there is help available.
****************************************************


So this is what it is, starting shortly after my second husband passed away, he started living...inside my head...whenever I sleep. Last year when Jimmy passed away he joined him. They usually aren't together although it has happened. Only once that I remember would I describe one of these visits a "nightmare", it was while Jimmy was still alive and for a few months I was left alone and thought that Dana had finally let go. Then Jimmy passed away and left me way more devastated than I thought I'd be. Within a couple of weeks Dana was back in my dreams and Jimmy not long after. As with most dreams, they seem so realistic while I'm having them and only when I wake up with the memory can I actually understand how convoluted it really was. If the dream has put me in an upbeat state of mind and I'm waking up full of love and happiness, I often will try my best to hang on to those feelings by hanging on to my dreams. In a sense, merging fantasy with reality.

I hope you aren't thinking that I'm intentionally hanging on to these two men so that I don't have to deal with reality. I would tend to follow that train of thought myself except for this one thing; I am continually fighting off sleep. Avoid it for no apparent reason, unless it's to avoid these dreams, and will go as long as 3 or 4 days with no more than an occasional nodding off in the middle of doing dishes or blogging, sometimes while out walking. It's risky behavior,I fall a lot and find myself doing some rather "odd" things, but REM sleep is dream sleep and the only way I know of to NOT remember my dreams is to be too exhausted to function.
I don't know why I want to avoid the dreams. Except for the one over a year ago, they are normal, pleasant, everyday things, and generally I forget the details shortly after awakening. I simply remember that I had the dream and how it made me feel. Usually good and not lonely.

There are many people that could give me their opinion on what's going on with me, but this is a category where there are many opinions and no real facts to back them up. I can ask my psychiatrist (and will) and get his educated guess. I can go to a psychic and see if I can believe their opinion. Perhaps a sleep study would find something, but what if Dana and Jimmy don't want to be studied? They don't have to show up if they don't think it's in their best interest!


I could go to a dream specialist which I put in the same category as psychic, I believe they are out there but the scammers would most likely be the ones I would find. Last but certainly not least is Church and Faith, are these dreams already an answer to prayer? How do you know with certainty?

I honestly would like some help here. It isn't the dreams bothering so much as what I'm doing after 30+ hours of sleeplessness. I know that doesn't make sense. If the dreams don't bother me why am I avoiding sleep. Answer: I don't know!!! That's why I need help.

So, any suggestions? What would you do? Just leave it alone? Pray with more diligence?

I do have a Psych appointment early in June as long as they don't cancel on me again.

What The Hay! I Gotta Sneeeeezzzeaaachhew!

It's been so long since I've verbalized that my brain is just full to overflowing with deep and oh so shallow thoughts. So who shall I pick on first? Ahh, heck, I'll start out with just general stuff that bothers me or perhaps I just find it curious. Like just how far does being Politically Correct have to go? When I was growing up the folks who worked for our neighbors were referred to as Negroes. At least by polite people. I preferred to use their names, but that's just how I roll. The only time I can remember hearing the ugly N word was in reference to a nut that had a dark brown shell. Getting back to being Politically Correct, this is what really bugs me; Why is it no longer correct to say that a person is Black? I'm still getting called White, not Americana Britt (hey! some form of that might make a great stripper name! Whadaya think?). Anyway it is now Politically Correct to say African American which, since I don't travel, isn't a big problem for me but I still wonder why it is such a big deal. Seriously, there ARE people of the African Nationality in countries all over this world and I'm willing to bet that, let's just say in France for example, a person may be greatly offended if called an African American. So that was my whole point, you can't be calling people who do not reside in this country African Americans so what is so darned wrong with, if the need arises, respectfully using the term Black? I still prefer first names, but this was just something I was wondering about....and I certainly hope you don't think I'm racist just because I question one of the many "shoulds" in life.

For my next peevish rant I must expose a fiendish plot of trickery that is so dastardly that this pair of Facebook Frauds used a seemingly sweet "How Well Do You Know Me" quiz to lure in their own mother AND in one case...gasp...a husband! I Know! And using such lies and turns of phrases as to make you THINK you're acing it (as you should be, especially after STUDYING!)but instead you are duped and made to look a fool. A FOOL I TELL YOU! I KNOW, It's reprehensible and something must be done. Drawn and Quartered, Tarred and Feathered, I don't know but am open to suggestions! Tsk tsk tsk,

I still can't quite wrap my brain around it. How can I live now knowing that Disneyland is NOT the happiest place on earth! AAAARRRRRRhhhhhhhh! Say it's not so, say it's not so!

So now that I'm off the ol' soap box I just have to know, am I the only geezer out there who's lovin' Boom Boom Boom and the Black Eyed Peas. What about Pink's So What? I just love that girls sassyness, and then a week later every thing's cool but she's still gotta sing this awesome rockin' out song tellin' the fool he ain't nothin but a tool. OH YEAH!

As long as I got the tune thing goin' on and I KNOW you've been just dyin' to ask me but...well you know, life happens (couldn't remember the digits, got locked out for like a month, the neighbors cousins uncles best friends sisters dog had puppies and you were stuck babysitting).So just don't fuss about it any longer. Here's the scoop,

I liked Danny and Alison right from the git go. Because Adam was in the competition too, I figured Danny 2nd and Alison 3rd. Then things started to go screwy. A couple of things happened that could have put people off from voting for him. The first being your typical rag mag dirt digger found publicity stills of him in drag and tried to smear him as not right for AI's family friendly audience. Adam never hid the nail polish or the guyliner nor did he try to become AI's 1st Drag Idol. He entered a singing competition and played by the rules and was an absolute delight to watch...which brings me to the real thing that "in my opinion" brought Adam down, a panel of over the top gushing judges. One in particular even said he wasn't just a rock star, he was a rock God. Well the title's already been surpassed so no need to vote for him. Week after week the judges would give praise to the few others who were deemed worthy to grace the stage along with Adam, but never once did anyone insinuate anything other than that Adam would win it. And the song for just before the announcement! I KNOW! Totally perfect for them as a duet and to have Queen as your back up band! Wha-at? A-Ma-Zing! So Kris won, and I must say that both he and Adam are real class acts the way that they handled themselves in what was most assuredly a startling outcome. You could see the great camaraderie between the whole top 13 there at the end and I fond it to be a very uplifting experience and a nice lesson learned.

OK, one more subject. This could come in handy for folks like me with just the basic, no frills digital camera. It's almost more fun than scrapbooking sometimes and the results can really fancy up an otherwise ho hum idea. Because I live alone with just my 2 furkids who look pretty much the same day after day, there isn't much in the way of variety to focus on. I've become my own favorite subject. Not because I take such great pictures, but because I don't. Once in a blue moon an acceptable one will come along that needs little or no touching with PhotoShop but most are deleted and the best of the worst become toys for my imagination to play with. I can become a head banging rock star, a floating dancer,someone bowed in prayer. Even a Veerrry SScaaarry monster, just by playing with toss-able pictures that I'd never want anyone to see what they really look like. It's a good day for me if I have a few of my masterpieces sitting around and they'll fit right in to Scrapping competition

So....I got this idea that when I think of something I want to flap my lips about I'll just jot it down and stick it in a convenient hat. Next time I'm sleepless in Breckenridge I'll have a ready made selection of topics to from and embellish on.

For sure it is time to hit the hay when I'm looking and not quite seeing. I believe that sleep has finally won this round. Yeah!

Dear Readers,
I just want to post this disclaimer for all who do not understand me well. The following is an example of art imitating life and exploiting it just make some fun out of a very silly accident that could have ended quite differently. No animals or humans were hurt in the real or these exaggerated circumstances.
The Author

***Breaking News***

Isabel Urquhart Catnapping Ends Peacefully

On Monday, April 13, at 2:39PM, the anguish for the widowed Mrs. Urquhart came to an end when her feline daughter, the Princess Isabel Urquhart, was rescued from the cellar where she had been held captive since Sunday afternoon.

It has been reported that the Princess was abducted from the Urquhart home during a family Easter celebration when "human" sibling Kymberly A. Haswell I, under the guise of borrowing a bed, secreted the Princess out of the home hidden inside the box spring portion of the bed. A spokesperson for the family states that some sort of family dispute over whether frozen green beans or canned corn should be served at the family dinner was the underlying cause of the cat napping.

At the time Princess Isabel was rescued, she was alone in the cellar but appeared terrified. There were no ransom demands. It is believed that Ms Haswell I regretted her actions and just wanted the situation over. The whereabouts of Ms Haswell I is unknown at this time. A brother, Dana M. Haswell III, is also being sought as a person of interest in this case.

When asked how it felt to have the Princess home, Mrs. Urquhart said, "I am just so happy that she is safe." As to the actions of Ms Haswell I, Mrs. Urquhart was heard to say, " I can't believe I gave her half the pie."

This catnapping is still being investigated.

No photos were available at press time.

A New Grandchild! Yeah!

Congratulations Kevin, Audrey, Tanner, Isaac and Noah! How lucky you are to have a beautiful little girl joining your family! Yeah!!!

Is anybody ot there?

Can anybody here me? I've got a lot of garbage stuff that I need to get off of my mind and that was the whole reason I started this blog in the first place. Then I found out that I had offended someone so I couldn't say how I felt anymore so I pretty much gave up this blog entirely. Now I'm trying to decide what to do and whether I even care or not. I'm in such a dark place that the feelings of others don't matter a whole lot to me right now. I need a place to write and this was it. I've put a tracker on it so I can see if anyone is paying attention. Then I'll know if I have to find somewhere else to put another bleepin' blog (I've got 3 already)where I can speak what's on my mind and only strangers will hear me until such time as I choose for others to know it (like when I'm dead).

Just a post to tell you (in case you don't already know) that I've been spending most of my time on my Project 365 blog at http://ajdih.blogspot.com . I'd love for you to check it out, especially today's post. I'm hoping to get some feedback on it.

OH! Dad, do you remember this?

An elephant and a mouse were crossing a bridge. The mouse said "We sure shook that bridge, didn't we!". "What do you mean WE shook that bridge?" roared the elephant. To which the mouse replied, "Well I've been sick."

I was just a little girl in a hospital bed when my Dad not only told me that, but illustrated it as well with a watercolor painting of an elephant and a mouse. That's how I knew my daddy loved me! Memories!!!

We Gonna Par-tay Down With The Cheese Man

I am totally clueless as to how to place my photo's where I want them so that my text matches up with the right picture. Right now it looks like my text is trapped in this space, but it could in another line or two, decide to jump out and go some where else. If it doesn't go on its own, I'll have to do it manually. So that is how we
play the game of "I
Don't Know What
I'm Doing!" Helllp!

But that's not why we're here now, is it! Noooo! We're here because an awesomely cool kid

that a whole lotta people know and love to pieces, wanted to celebrate his "No More Booster Seat" Birthday #8 at his usual "club"! That would be none other than the hot spot that all serious clubbers frequent, Chuck E Cheese! What more could a kid want for his birthday?

Pizza, cake, cupcakes, ice cream, friends, family, games, games and more games....and of course gifts AND prizes!

I will now try to identify the bodies in these super candid shots!

Top photo is momma Kymberly and little brother Matty Dave.

The next photo should be 2 of Jeffery's Uncle's, brothers Teamo and Dana.

Photo 3 is of Matty driving a Spaceship of sorts (more like a boat) with a little help from his Daddy, Jayd.

Next is Jeffery Joel's Mema and Aunt Teacha.

This next beauty is none other than Mama, Kymberly.

Can't miss this little one of Mema and her sister Lisa! They asked if I was planning to sell them on eBay. I told them the bidding starts at a penny, but they better watch out for the shipping charges! LOL

Next we have another pretty shot of Mema. She was trying to tell my that she didn't allow having her pictures being taken! But, Cindy I said, "Oh, yes I did!"

I couldn't believe I even got this shot of Kymberly and Jayd, he's looking right at her and smiling! Maybe there is hope yet.

The photo just below smiling Jayd is Jeffery Joel and Matty Dave. The candles are blazin' and we are all singing beautifully out of key. As the song ends we move along to the final photo....

The cheeks are puffed, only one candle to go....

Hope all of your wishes come true, my bug! I Love You! XOXOXOXOXO

Something New

I don't know if any of you have heard of Project 365, but it is basically a commitment to take a photograph a day for a year. At the end, your reward is having a diary in pictures of a year in your life.
My Project 365 has taken the form of a new blog that I call "A.J.'s Days In Heaven". I'm really going to try to keep this up (so far, so good). So if you have any interest in what's going on with my (I think) boring little life, you can check it out at http://ajdih.blogspot.com .
Just a note of warning, anyone that knows me is aware of this, I rarely can have a blog entry without saying something. Thank goodness I'm learning (slowly but surely) to use the delete key more often.